also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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