my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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