He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
