He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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