I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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