what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
