You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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