My room smells like vodka and shame
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize