We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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