you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
