so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
