Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The uberlube is also flammable
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
