He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
