i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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