i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
