She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She bit a glass in half.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We just shotgunned beers for America
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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