spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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