I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
