Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
