so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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