hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
