so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
