I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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