Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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