I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
