Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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