i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
This gyro tastes like lonliness
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
