I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
