omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
