Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
