I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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