I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
