By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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