woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
