didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
