; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
