It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
