if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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