3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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