I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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