i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
