Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Dick very happy bro
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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