I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
