Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
