I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
