taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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