Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
