We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My friends, they love my intelligence
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have aggressive nipples.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
