I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
its not stalking. its research.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
