haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I intend to get homeless drunk
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
