it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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