I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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