someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
