he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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