dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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