it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize