FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
