I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
