But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
