if i can run in heels then i can drive
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
