For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
