I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
